Rudolph’s Global Navigation Training: The Reindeer Who Knows the World by Heart
Hey there, frosty friends!
Rudolph here - yes, the red-nosed one - checking in from the North Pole, where the snow’s fresh, the cocoa’s hot, and the reindeer training field looks suspiciously like an airport built entirely out of candy canes.
Since last Christmas, I’ve been sharpening my navigational skills. You’d think having a glowing nose would make flying a breeze, right? Not quite. Guiding Santa’s sleigh across a changing world takes a bit more than a flashy snout. Cities grow, forests shift, rivers change direction, and even the stars like to play musical chairs on some nights. So I’ve been brushing up with maps, weather charts, and flight routes. Mrs. Claus calls me a “reindeer boffin.” I choose to take that as a compliment.
The North Pole Times
Santa likes to say we’re basically the London cab drivers of the sky. Except instead of memorising one city, we’ve got to know everything. From the snowy rooftops of Norway to the red-hot dunes of Australia, we need what you humans call “The Knowledge” - just scaled up to global proportions.
- Dasher’s been revising city layouts
- Prancer’s brushing up on major landmarks
- And Vixen? She’s perfecting tight landings for tricky chimney situations. She’s also very proud of her “reverse take-off technique”… we’re not asking.
But it’s not just about knowing where to go - it’s about getting there safely. Fog, snowstorms, gale-force winds… we’ve flown through it all. This year, Santa’s challenged us to be smoother, faster, and more efficient than ever. So each evening, we run practice flights. Picture this: we’re soaring through the skies, dodging imaginary clouds, calling out landmarks - “Big Ben on the left! Eiffel Tower straight ahead!” Great fun. Except Donner insists on yelling, “Are we there yet?” during every single run.
So when you’re curled up in bed on Christmas Eve, just know - we’ve done our prep. The world may keep changing, but with a bit of magic, a whole lot of training, and one slightly overachieving red nose, we’ll get to every home on time. No sat nav required.
And if Santa does get lost? Don’t worry - I’ve got “The Knowledge.”
The North Pole Times
